saveyourselves | (no subject)

(no subject)

"Oh god," you whisper, staring at the latest entry on the OOC comm, "not more of her."

Yeah, unfortunately. This is Lisa, picking up another character who is pretty drastically different from Danny! This here is Richard Burzek, although he usually goes by his middle name Jovan. He's a junior at LCU in the honors program, studying public policy and English. He TAs some classes too. He's also a closet douchebag who spends his nights gleefully insulting people on the Internet.

In his past life, though, he was Nathan Young from Misfits! Misfits is a show about a bunch of juvenile delinquents who get superpowers! (Yeah, it goes about as well as you'd expect.) Nathan in particular is rude, crude, loud, and generally all around terrible in every way imaginable hahaha oh god I'm so sorry in advance for anything and everything he says. I will probably be apologizing profusely for every third tag I write for him.

I'm open to any pre-established CR--LCU classmates or professors, some Locke High seniors who might remember him from when he was in high school, neighbors, someone who might just recognize That One Asshole from a forum or something, whatever you want to try and work out!

And as always, my plurk is

CaptainPlanette, my AIM is UnfingSalmon or CommunistCod, and you can PM me too if you want!

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what on earth is this username

yeah that's. an actual thing he gets called at one point.

he didn't know she was 82, honest 8C

this is almost as weird as homestuck

congratulations

that's

a little terrifying though, wow

(and that isn't really even the weirdest part of the show, apparently someone gets the power to swap genitalia and transfer pregnancies later on???? ?? ??? ? i don't even know, dude)

that's equally as weird as cherub sex

in cherub sex, two cherubs who hate each other very much turn into giant snakes one astronomical unit long and wrestle each other in an ouroboros shape until the loser is forced to bear the egg.

so Misfits is as weird as Homestuck?

that is pretty impressive to me, considering Misfits takes place in regular ol' every day England. Except some people have superpowers, I guess.

you should be very proud of this achievement. misfits deserves a medal.

Shall we just continue this CR from where it left off in the testrun post?

hell yes.

(although I ought to specify that he writes those reviews under a pseudonym, so she won't be able to connect it back to like his face or anything.)

AND A MASTER SPARK FOR YOU!

No don't ask why. You shouldn't need to with Nathan.

....I DON'T GET IT?!????

what are you saying, i just don't know

I am tired okay? I am just responding to all my friends' OOC intros with Master Spark.

And Nathan is a horrible person, so...

o i c

...does it help if Jovan is a slightly less horrible person than Nathan? Just a bit? I mean, he'll eventually be just as bad but y'know. for now.

How nice you are has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not Marisa will use Master Spark on you.

There are tiny tears in my eyes

I'm

I'm just so happy you don't understand

I did it for you

all for you

(no I didn't)

Deny it all you want

I know in my heart it is true

then i will let you believe it is so

i hope your heart desires lots of inappropriate sexual metaphors, because that is what you are going to get

(this time without inconsistent British spelling because HAHAHA, HE'S AMERICAN NOW)

My middle name is "Inappropriate Sexual Metaphors"

(No really)

(Weird parents, man)

And I am sorry for his tragic loss

OH BOY, GOODIE. I have a huge webpage full of euphemisms for all sorts of sexual body parts and acts bookmarked for the express purpose of playing this guy.

And I think you mean happy for his beautiful improvement, now I don't have to stick u's in places where they don't belong or call part of a car a boot or any of that dumb british stuff.

I'll bash yer fookin ead in I swear on me mum

I'M SORRY, WHAT'S THAT? I'M TOO CIVILIZED TO SPEAK FILTHY FOREIGNER GARBAGE

YOU HAVE SHATTERED MY MONOCLE WITH THE FORCE OF MY OUTRAGE

THE QUEEN WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS

That username...

Though I can already see that any cr between these two will be fun.

the username is canon. he is canonically (and truthfully) called a grannyfucker. it's really sad.

I imagine it would be hahaha! Jovan will never stop with the insults, you will have to be the bigger man and walk away from it while he shouts "I BET YOU MISS THE WARM COMFORT OF YOUR MOTHER'S SICK, TWISTED BLOWJOBS" off in the distance.

or capslock-screams it online, Jovan isn't one to really say this stuff aloud, haha.

it makes for an interesting username, at least. xD

and thus a lovely and pricey parking ticket magically appears on Jovan's car one day, which reads 'you were seen speeding through a stop sign. consider also learning when to stop running your mouth as you have no idea if the person you're talking to may or may not be a cop'.

Jovan just takes another parking ticket, sticks it under the windshield wiper next to the first one, which says "LOL THIS ISN'T EVEN MY CAR, ASSHOLE"

And another one follows "Then you won't mind if this car is booted for failure to pay tickets".

Yup, beautiful friendship.

You beautiful creature

I don't know if beautiful is the right word for someone who used the phrase "ever-changing landscape of tuna taco"

it is precisely the right word. I recently rewatched the first season of Misfits, I know exactly what I am talking about.

oh. well then. you know exactly what you're dealing with here then.

I do and it is glorious.

Note to self: don't waste energy apologizing when threading with Alan, because they already know all my tags will be horrible.

I would be severely disappointed if they were not horrible.

jfle;ajfa; that fucking icon

well they won't really be horrible if it's in person because Jovan actually has standards

but pffft why would Jovan hang out with those high school losers, they're really only going to meet on the network. (Or if they do meet IRL, Jovan's ~secret douchebag identity~ will remain a secret)

the best part about Alan getting more like Eren will be getting to use crazyface icons more. especially this fucking icon

whether he's horrible in person or on the network, I hope Jovan is ready to get shouted at.

this is beautiful

you are beautiful

jeial;hial;ghahl

i never expected to be called beautiful for playing a character who regularly accuses others of bestiality.

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