aaron telcontar (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
elfstoned) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
saveyourselves2014-01-08 10:20 pm
elfstoned) wrote in saveyourselves2014-01-08 10:20 pm
extended hiatus, possible drop.
I'll give it to you straight, STE: you deserve it.
The games I like to play in are small, slow/medium, and under the radar. Save the Earth, when I joined back in April, was like that. I loved every moment of it. I have had a lot of feelings about this game and it got me through a really bad place last year. I took on modding it because I didn't want to see it die, and because I had the experience, and was determined to make the time.
It's grown into something really amazing, and I am proud of what it's become, and I'm happier to see it thriving than I can express here. The new mods are so enthusiastic, so capable, so full of energy -- you're all in amazing hands as we bring season 1 to a close and move into the next stage of this frankly epic as hell game.
But one of my worst flaws is that I'm really, really awful at saying no or admitting that I can't do something, and it took15minuteslate getting kicked out from lack of activity to get me to admit it. This game has grown so big that just keeping up with the community posts is daunting to me. Playing and modding this began to feel more and more like a job as time went on, and it went from fun and exciting to draining. You all saw how I was hardly ever around. I felt like I couldn't drop because I was a mod and I had a lot of important plots with my close CR going on, but I felt guilty every time I looked at the communities and realized it had been five days since I'd done any character tags, which made me feel less and less like playing. It was a vicious cycle, and it's left me burned out on this game. I am truly sorry I didn't mention this sooner, but like I said, I was a mod on a team that was already way too small for a game of this size -- I felt like I couldn't take a break.
With Mamoru unappable until April, Aaron largely unable to act in the snake battle, and my drive to tag in this setting at an all time low, I am declaring an extended hiatus. Whether this becomes a proper drop remains to be seen. I won't make promises, even though I want to, because I'm bad at admitting that I might not come back, and I don't want to say no to any of my CR. I know this timing is atrocious, but please understand that I cannot force myself to RP, and trying to do that is what got me into this clusterfuck in the first place.
What I'm going to do is, I'm going to take a break. I'm going to app to a small game, and splash around somewhere I have no real responsibilities and see if I can't remind myself that RP is fun when it's not a job. Get the drive back. If, come April, I am filled with incredible amounts of nostalgia and feel I can manage STE at the size it's at, you'll see me again. My real life is currently in a lot of flux, and I really can't say where I'll be IRL-wise come April. A lot could change for me. I just don't know.
So yes, hiatus until April, hopefully coming back but cannot actually promise at this point. No matter what I will still be reachable over plurk and will be sticking around as a resource/pickable brain for the new mods and play some of the NPCs. De-friend if you want, I understand.
As for my characters, Mamoru will be going back to San Fran to help look after his ill and ailing father, and will end up sticking around to help run the company b/c family pressure is terrifying. Aaron will lose his Echoes but still be around to run the clinic. Thanks to previous instances where he's lost his Echoes, he'll have a vague idea about the Network -- it's about to go public anyways. LSR Clinic will still be a safe place for network folks, and Aaron will basically be a NPC ally. When shit goes public he'll be on your side and will keep your secrets. Any questions about ongoing threads/plots/etc can be asked here; I'd be happy to do anything I can to make this transition easier.
Thank you all for understanding and for giving me such a great experience here. This game will always be special to me -- it got me back into DWRP when I thought I'd never have a home game again, and it's been an honor and a blast playing with all of you.
The games I like to play in are small, slow/medium, and under the radar. Save the Earth, when I joined back in April, was like that. I loved every moment of it. I have had a lot of feelings about this game and it got me through a really bad place last year. I took on modding it because I didn't want to see it die, and because I had the experience, and was determined to make the time.
It's grown into something really amazing, and I am proud of what it's become, and I'm happier to see it thriving than I can express here. The new mods are so enthusiastic, so capable, so full of energy -- you're all in amazing hands as we bring season 1 to a close and move into the next stage of this frankly epic as hell game.
But one of my worst flaws is that I'm really, really awful at saying no or admitting that I can't do something, and it took
15minuteslate getting kicked out from lack of activity to get me to admit it. This game has grown so big that just keeping up with the community posts is daunting to me. Playing and modding this began to feel more and more like a job as time went on, and it went from fun and exciting to draining. You all saw how I was hardly ever around. I felt like I couldn't drop because I was a mod and I had a lot of important plots with my close CR going on, but I felt guilty every time I looked at the communities and realized it had been five days since I'd done any character tags, which made me feel less and less like playing. It was a vicious cycle, and it's left me burned out on this game. I am truly sorry I didn't mention this sooner, but like I said, I was a mod on a team that was already way too small for a game of this size -- I felt like I couldn't take a break.With Mamoru unappable until April, Aaron largely unable to act in the snake battle, and my drive to tag in this setting at an all time low, I am declaring an extended hiatus. Whether this becomes a proper drop remains to be seen. I won't make promises, even though I want to, because I'm bad at admitting that I might not come back, and I don't want to say no to any of my CR. I know this timing is atrocious, but please understand that I cannot force myself to RP, and trying to do that is what got me into this clusterfuck in the first place.
What I'm going to do is, I'm going to take a break. I'm going to app to a small game, and splash around somewhere I have no real responsibilities and see if I can't remind myself that RP is fun when it's not a job. Get the drive back. If, come April, I am filled with incredible amounts of nostalgia and feel I can manage STE at the size it's at, you'll see me again. My real life is currently in a lot of flux, and I really can't say where I'll be IRL-wise come April. A lot could change for me. I just don't know.
So yes, hiatus until April, hopefully coming back but cannot actually promise at this point. No matter what I will still be reachable over plurk and will be sticking around as a resource/pickable brain for the new mods and play some of the NPCs. De-friend if you want, I understand.
As for my characters, Mamoru will be going back to San Fran to help look after his ill and ailing father, and will end up sticking around to help run the company b/c family pressure is terrifying. Aaron will lose his Echoes but still be around to run the clinic. Thanks to previous instances where he's lost his Echoes, he'll have a vague idea about the Network -- it's about to go public anyways. LSR Clinic will still be a safe place for network folks, and Aaron will basically be a NPC ally. When shit goes public he'll be on your side and will keep your secrets. Any questions about ongoing threads/plots/etc can be asked here; I'd be happy to do anything I can to make this transition easier.
Thank you all for understanding and for giving me such a great experience here. This game will always be special to me -- it got me back into DWRP when I thought I'd never have a home game again, and it's been an honor and a blast playing with all of you.